Our Loss

*Trigger Warning, the following blog post talks about miscarriage.*

I know it has been over a month since i last posted, i genuinely thought i would have been sharing good news with you all much sooner. Instead, i’m now sharing sad news, the loss of our baby at 14 weeks pregnant.

December 15th, 2021 – I decided to take a pregnancy test that morning, to my absolute shock it was positive. I was so happy I started crying. I ran out to the kitchen, grabbed my husband and dragged him into the bathroom to show him the test. He was so happy & shocked too.

My due date was August 27, 2022.

January 31, 2022 – I had my first midwife appointment, I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time. My midwife couldn’t find the heartbeat, so she told us we could get an ultrasound done or we could just wait for our next appointment.

We decided that it was probably still a little bit too early to hear on her doppler, so we decided to just wait.

After 2 weeks though, I didn’t want to wait anymore. I scheduled an ultrasound.

At 12 weeks 5 Days we got our first ultrasound and we heard the baby’s heartbeat. It was so sweet. The most beautiful sound ever. Baby was measuring 13 weeks 1 Day. Everything looked great.

14 week ultrasound

February 28, 2022 – We had our second midwife appointment. I was 14 weeks 2 Days pregnant. My midwife couldn’t find the heartbeat at this appointment. She said there could be a few reasons for this (uterus position, placenta position, etc.). She said we could go in for another ultrasound or come back in a few weeks.

I left that appointment feeling sad that I didn’t hear the heartbeat, but still hopeful because in my experience once I’ve heard the heartbeat everything is fine. I’ve never experienced loss after hearing the heartbeat.

14 weeks pregnant

The next morning (March 1st) i just had this feeling. I needed an ultrasound for peace of mind. I made an appointment for later that day.

During the ultrasound, the tech was taking a long time to find the heartbeat. So I finally said the words she was struggling to tell me “there’s no heartbeat, is there?”. She said “yes, I’m sorry there is no heartbeat”.

Devestated

Heartbroken

Confussed

Angry

So many different emotions/thoughts/feelings.

After talking through all the options with our midwife, we decided to wait and do it naturally at home.

Saturday – March 5th, 2022 – 7:30PM – our baby was born naturally at home. Baby was a boy, we named him Moses.

Moses’ Handprint

If you are going through a miscarriage or have gone through one, just know how very sorry I am for your loss.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

4 thoughts on “Our Loss”

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss; I miscarried on Christmas Eve in 2017 and it was the most traumatic experience in my life. I didn’t think to go to the hospital and I regret it. I’m sending you so much love and light.

    Liked by 1 person

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