Our Loss

*Trigger Warning, the following blog post talks about miscarriage.*

I know it has been over a month since i last posted, i genuinely thought i would have been sharing good news with you all much sooner. Instead, i’m now sharing sad news, the loss of our baby at 14 weeks pregnant.

December 15th, 2021 – I decided to take a pregnancy test that morning, to my absolute shock it was positive. I was so happy I started crying. I ran out to the kitchen, grabbed my husband and dragged him into the bathroom to show him the test. He was so happy & shocked too.

My due date was August 27, 2022.

January 31, 2022 – I had my first midwife appointment, I was 10 weeks pregnant at the time. My midwife couldn’t find the heartbeat, so she told us we could get an ultrasound done or we could just wait for our next appointment.

We decided that it was probably still a little bit too early to hear on her doppler, so we decided to just wait.

After 2 weeks though, I didn’t want to wait anymore. I scheduled an ultrasound.

At 12 weeks 5 Days we got our first ultrasound and we heard the baby’s heartbeat. It was so sweet. The most beautiful sound ever. Baby was measuring 13 weeks 1 Day. Everything looked great.

14 week ultrasound

February 28, 2022 – We had our second midwife appointment. I was 14 weeks 2 Days pregnant. My midwife couldn’t find the heartbeat at this appointment. She said there could be a few reasons for this (uterus position, placenta position, etc.). She said we could go in for another ultrasound or come back in a few weeks.

I left that appointment feeling sad that I didn’t hear the heartbeat, but still hopeful because in my experience once I’ve heard the heartbeat everything is fine. I’ve never experienced loss after hearing the heartbeat.

14 weeks pregnant

The next morning (March 1st) i just had this feeling. I needed an ultrasound for peace of mind. I made an appointment for later that day.

During the ultrasound, the tech was taking a long time to find the heartbeat. So I finally said the words she was struggling to tell me “there’s no heartbeat, is there?”. She said “yes, I’m sorry there is no heartbeat”.

Devestated

Heartbroken

Confussed

Angry

So many different emotions/thoughts/feelings.

After talking through all the options with our midwife, we decided to wait and do it naturally at home.

Saturday – March 5th, 2022 – 7:30PM – our baby was born naturally at home. Baby was a boy, we named him Moses.

Moses’ Handprint

If you are going through a miscarriage or have gone through one, just know how very sorry I am for your loss.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

Pregnancy/Childbirth Books

I am really passionate about pregnancy and childbirth. It’s a topic i love. I love hearing birth stories. I could talk birth and pregnancy all day long. I just think it’s so amazing what the human body can do. So, today i thought i would share all the pregnancy/childbirth books that i own.

Yes, i really do own all of these books and i think there is great information to take away from each of them. However, if you could only get one of these books i would highly recommend Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth. Whether you are having a natural birth or not, a home birth or a hospital birth, it’s just so encouraging to read other positive birth stories.

Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth – My midwife loaned me her copy when i was pregnant with baby number 6 and i loved it. I really love all the information in it, so i bought a copy for myself.

Nurture – It’s funny when i order books on Amazon (with the exception of fiction paperback books) i never know what they will look like in person. I didn’t expect this book to be so huge. I like that this book covers everything; pregnancy, birth, and early motherhood.

The Whole 9 Months – I bought this book mainly for the recipes, as i really want healthy pregnancies. It does have some information on pregnancy also. The Cobb Pasta Salad recipe on page 147 is delicious!

Holy Labor – I feel like Holy Labor and Redeeming Childbirth go hand in hand. They are both pretty similar books. *Not pictured, because i have it on Kindle*

Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way – I ordered this book after hearing Lisa from Farmhouse on Boone recommend it. It does have a lot of great information on how to relax your body during labor.

Redeeming Childbirth – When i’m in labor, especially during my last labor (my home birth), i pray the whole time. I could not give birth without God being present, and the way i feel God present is by talking to him & praying. It helps me through all the pain. Redeeming Childbirth is all about experiencing His presence in pregnancy/labor.

The Mama Natural Week-by-Week Guide to Pregnancy and Childbirth – Back when i was pregnant with my first child, 17 years ago, i bought the What To Expect When You Are Expecting book. If you know anything about that book, then you know it is pretty much filled with everything that can go wrong. It’s a great book to read if you want to worry your entire pregnancy. I love that this book came out and replaced that book. This book gives you a week-by-week look at what is changing with your body and your baby. It’s a great resource to have. *Not pictured, because i couldn’t find my copy.*

Birth Without Fear – I didn’t love this book, because i didn’t feel like i gained any new knowledge from it. However, if you are about to give birth and you are nervous/afraid maybe give this book a try.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding – This is such a great resource to have on hand if you are breastfeeding, it covers everything!

Those are all the books i currently own on pregnancy/childbirth. I do still have several pregnancy/childbirth books on my wish list. Maybe once i buy them, i will do a haul and share them.

*This post may contain affiliate links.*

My Home Birth Story

9 months ago i gave birth to my sixth child, a boy. This was my first experience with having a home birth, as all 5 of my previous births were in a hospital. Not only was this my first home birth, it was also my first natural birth. It was so very special, that i decided to write this blog post to share all the details, mainly just so i have a place to keep them for myself, but hopefully this will help someone else who might be considering home birth.

February 15, 2021 – 1 day past my due date – It was late at night, i had already gone to bed. I was woken up at 11:00 pm by a feeling like i had peed myself, however i was completely dry. I then thought maybe i needed to get up and use the bathroom. As soon as i got up my water broke. And when i say my water broke, i mean it really broke. Water was gushing out onto my bedroom floor. I had never experienced that before. The only other time my water broke on its own, it was just a trickle. So i really wasn’t expecting a flood. But a flood is what i got.

I called my midwife and let her know what was going on. So now the wait was on for contractions to pick up. We were waiting for them to be consistent. About 3-4 minutes apart.

My contractions never got to that point. They would be 10 minutes apart, then 4 minutes apart, then 18 minutes apart. They were all over the place. I decided to try to get some sleep.

February 16, 2021 – The next morning i got up and was still having contractions, but they weren’t consistent. My midwife called to ask how it was going and i told her there wasn’t much going on. We talked about the different ways to jumpstart labor (walking, nipple stimulation, etc.). I actually had a scheduled midwife appointment for that afternoon and i told her that i didn’t feel comfortable getting into the car and driving anywhere. I really didn’t want to give birth on the side of the road. She agreed that she would come over and check on me in the afternoon.

I just spent the day bouncing on my birth ball, walking around the house, listening to worship music, and praying. Lots and lots of praying. No matter what i did my contractions never got to a consistent point. I was having lots of contractions, but nothing to painful. Just uncomfortable.

My midwife arrived at about 4:00 pm just to see how i was doing. She listened to baby’s heartbeat and she checked my blood pressure. She was about to leave (because once again, my contractions were not consistent) when at the last minute she was like, maybe we should check you just for peace of mind. So, she checked me and i was 8 cm. I was shocked. I had no idea i was that close to being done dilating. She was like, guess i’m staying now. I’m so glad she checked me. (Side note: I live out in the country, so for her to get to my house it is about an hour drive.)

My midwife started to get things ready, and i kept on walking around the house. At about 8:20 pm, i did the usual bedtime routine with the kids and by 8:40 pm i was in my bedroom and my midwife was checking me again. I was fully dilated, but my cervix was swollen. Even though i didn’t feel the need to push, she told me to start pushing. Once i started pushing the contractions started to get more intense. Super painful. Here is where i start to lose track of time.

After awhile, the contractions were so painful i just wanted some relief, so i decided to try the birthing pool. I had heard that water helps lessen the contractions and by this point i just needed a break from them. I hated the birthing pool. Trying to push while in the water was so uncomfortable for me. I had lost the ability to talk at this point. I couldn’t tell anyone what i needed. Finally, my midwife suggested we move out of the pool and all i could do was nod my head yes. They got me out of the pool and onto the bed.

I’m not sure how much longer it was after i moved onto the bed, but i gave a really big push and his head came out. He was born at 11:40 pm on the 16th of February. It was a little over 24 hours after my water broke when he was finally born. My actual labor was only 3 hours though.

He was 7 pounds 14 ounces and 20 inches long.

We are all so happy he is here and a part of our family. We love him so much.

I hope you enjoyed hearing about my home birth experience. I would absolutely do it again, it was a very healing journey (especially since my last birth was so traumatic).

xoxo,

What To Pack In Your Hospital Bag

Hi Guys!

Although i’m not planning on having a hospital birth with baby number 6, i have had 5 hospital births in the past, so i thought today i would share what i usually would pack in my hospital bag.

There are a lot of these “what to pack in hospital bag lists” out there, but i feel like most of them are a little bit much. So if you like things simple and basic, like me, then this list is for you.

*I will note that i have never had a c-section, so you might want to add other items to your bag if you are having a c-section.*

What to pack in your hospital bag

For Mom:

  • Cell phone charger
  • Nursing Bra
  • A comfortable going home outfit (pj’s, yoga pants, etc.)
  • Toothbrush & toothpaste
  • Hairbrush & hair ties
  • Chapstick

For Baby:

  • A going home outfit
  • Diapers (if your hospital doesn’t provide them, my hospital did provide them)

That’s it, that’s all you need!

*Stock photo provided by Unsplash.*

38 Weeks Pregnant {Baby #6 Update}

Hi Guys!

Today i’m sharing another baby #6 update!

Today i’m 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant with baby #6. I just got back from my midwife appointment and everything looks good with baby & me.

I’ve gained a total of 25 pounds so far with this pregnancy. I’m measuring right at 38 weeks.

Baby is still in head down position. Baby’s heartbeat was strong and good.

At this point we are just waiting around for me to go into labor.

There’s not a ton to update on. I’m not really having any cravings or new symptoms.

I’m just really getting excited to have this baby. I can’t wait to meet him!